The Biker Rag


                                                         

       Motorcycle's  &  K-9's                
 
Riding a motorcycle is challenging in it's self, And now you want to have your best friend ride with you, well if you look at him and say do you want to go for a ride on my new motorcycle and he says sure lets go, YOU Have One Dumb Dog.
        Now if you're a good rider and can ride with some one else on the back of your Bike your half way there. If your riding a small dog  under 15 lbs. You can ride him in front of you, buy a good harness for the dog with a "D" ring on top. And a good leash,  Now put the harness on your dog and hook the leash on him and pick him up with the leash and make sure it will hold him if he was to start to fall,  You will put the leash around you neck and re-hook the other end to the "D" ring,  adjust it so your dog can move around some because he won't want to stay still for the whole ride.
         If your going to ride a larger dog you may need to put a box or a cage on the back of your bike, and you should still use a harness and some way to secure him from jumping out of a box,  and remember he has a long tail, don't let it get in any moving parts, like the Spokes, Chain, or Belt, 
         If your going to start riding a dog you have had for a few months and he rides in your car or truck and does'nt get sick you should'nt have a problem, but I still would'nt feed him for about four hours before the ride, and try to get him to go potty out side before the ride. If your going to start with a new dog or puppy get them use to riding in the car or truck first, When you make your first bike ride with your dog just go slow,
About 30 to 40 mph, and stop and let him off and see how he feels, give him a little water and then start back home, when you get home let him rest for about 30 minutes and then see if he wants to go again, If you go to start the bike and he runs to you like he wants to go you have it made.  Now remember Safety First,  Slow at first, No sharp curves.
And Do Not Rack Your Pipes,  Load Pipes can and will Hurt your dogs ears. And Remember the cold & Heat, this you will have to figure out on your own, some dogs can take a lot of  heat & cold and some can not. Check with your Vet on this.
Make sure you bring him water and something to drink out of, and bring something to clean up his mess,  Remember He Is Not Your Mother-in Law or Your X-Wife , This K-9 is Your Best Friend, And His or Her Safety is in Your Hands,
And break him from pissing on Harley Tires right from the start,
Or you may be in for the Ass Whipping of your life.
Ride  Safe and as if your K-9’s Life Depended On It, Because It Does.

                                Admiral Jerry Lea Von Bentz K-9                             
                                                            &
                                              The
Arkansas BirdMan

 

PET RULES
>
>       To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.
>       Dear Dogs and Cats,
>
>
>       The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The
>other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print
>in the middle of my plate of food does not stake a claim for it, becoming
>your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the
>slightest.
>
>
>       The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.
>Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help
>because I fall faster than you can run.
>
>
>       I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry
>about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure
>your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep.
>It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to
>the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out
>and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing
>but sarcasm.
>
>
>       For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If
>by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not
>necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under
>the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I
>entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years -- canine or feline
>attendance is not required.

 


>       The proper order is this: first kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's
>butt. I cannot stress this enough!
>
>
>       To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on
>our front door:
>
>
>       To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:
>
>       1. They live here. You don't.
>       2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the
>furniture. (That's why they call it 'fur'niture.)
>       3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
>       4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter
>who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.
>
>       Remember: In many ways, dogs and cats are better than kids because
>they:
>       1. Eat less
>       2. Don't ask for money all the time
>       3 Are easier to train
>       4. Normally come when called
>       5. Never ask to drive the car
>       6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
>       7. Don't smoke or drink
>       8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions
>       9. Don't want to wear your clothes
>       10. Don't need a 'gazillion' dollars for college.
>
>       And finally,


>       11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.